I have been challenged to tell my story. But the amount of times I have been prompted to share a little about myself on different sites and stopping short because I am completely frozen, I could not even tell you. Even on my Facebook profile, you will not see statistics such as the high school I attended or the places I have worked at.
I have a tendency to overwhelm myself very easily and this often leads me to not sharing unless I absolutely have to, and I write this with a laugh at myself. I suppose I am not the only one in this world that feels overwhelmed by having to share “a little about yourself”. After all, how could we possibly ever share ‘just a little’? And won’t ‘just a little’ undervalue the entirety of life that has been lived? And won’t ‘just a little’ very quickly define you in the reader’s mind?
I am a rebel at heart and have always refused to be defined by…. anything. I do not wish to meet your standards. I strive to either exceed them, or if I deem it’s best, I keep walking and not bother at all. So most times when I am met with the “share a little about yourself” concept, I tend to deem it best to just keep walking and not bother at all!
But I have been challenged to jump out of my shell and simply share no bars held. This is something I have slowly learned the confidence to do in recent years but I still need a little push. Well, I do not tend to refuse a challenge so here I am:
I was born on the other side of the world and whisked up into a plane at the age of 8 months to live life in Australia. I am of South-American heritage, which means that many aspects of my personality, knowledge and expectations are heavily shaped by South-American values that were taught me by my South-American parents. But on the whole, I feel very Australian. This can be very confusing to my own husband, let alone other people *giggle*.
I was brought up in a strictly religious home, which also shapes a lot of my values. Whether it means I have shed some of what I learned in childhood or kept some of the principles taught to me, it certainly means that once again I can be a little ‘different’ to the general crowd.
For example, I find there are certain topics of conversation that I am simply not interested in – not because I am cold or aloof or antisocial, as might be the impression given – but because I find a lot of conversations to be extremely trivial and it just makes me want to fall asleep. I don’t care about your latest shopping expedition, I want to know about your latest personal or spiritual discovery. And when you tell me about a travel experience, I don’t care about the great hotels you stayed at, I want to know about the sunsets you’ve experienced and the delectable food you held in your mouth and the sounds you heard whilst walking down the sandy or cobblestone streets.
Not many people share so intimately however, so it is often that I am left thirsting in social settings. Often I end up retreating to a corner, if not into myself. I am sorry if this is offensive to some people who have witnessed this about me. It’s not that I am uninterested – I am just too deeply interested.
Join me for a one on one coffee date though and you will see my eyes light up and hear me squeal and gasp and laugh at whatever it is you wish to share – tell me more, tell me more!
I was brought up in poverty. This makes me deeply appreciate everything that I have. I am not a stranger to holes in the soles of my school shoes; frozen bulk-cooked porridge in the freezer for the week; endlessly borrowing stationery and self-care products from friends at school and pretending that ‘I keep forgetting to buy new pens’ or ‘I ran out of my Impulse yesterday’. (I will never forget Camilla’s endless love & generosity). I am no stranger to hand-me-downs from family friends; ripping into a large rubbish bag full of clothes given to us was extremely exciting, and that was our version of ‘going shopping’. Living in poverty meant that as a teenager I had to create my own fashion style (from the eclectic collection of clothes in that rubbish bag) and I learned very quickly to stride into a room like I didn’t care that the preppy girls were wearing their newest and latest trends.
(I really did care).
This experience of poverty created a deep sense of uniqueness and individuality in me and I am forever thankful that Life gave me the lessons that it did. I once had an old friend from high school bump into me 10 years after we graduated and she gushed at me, telling me that I had been her role model and her inspiration in our high school years – that all she had ever wanted to do was emulate the utmost confidence I portrayed. This warmed my heart incredibly because I had equally admired her – her quiet and steadfast being, her elegant and immaculate self-presentation, and her strong, ambitious life goals. I shared with her that I had been just as much a bundle of nerves underneath it all, as the next teenager had been. And that I dealt with the nerves with the great facade she saw me expose to the world.
But they say practice makes perfect and I do like to think that that sense of confidence in my own unique individuality led me to survive the world outside of school, well into university, career, marriage and general adulthood responsibility.
At times this confidence has been a little over-confident and I have made many mistakes in my life – some of them have been really huge. I am continually humbled by looking back at my life and seeing that I never really knew it all – if at all – and that people are softer and more forgiving than we think that they might be. I personally believe that mistakes can be the crown jewels of life because it is these that help you to grow and to change and to move onwards and upwards to live a more enriching life.
I became Mother 6 years ago and my little girl is, hands-down, the light of my life. She is my driving force for everything that I do now, and her existence gives me joy and hope and courage in a way that I’d never had these before. My husband and I were infinitely blessed with her arrival because she proved to bring us together during a time that we had been living tumultuous seperate lives. We are a gorgeous little family that are really close-knit and we somehow just ‘need’ each other and this nucleus vibration is precious to me.
That is a little bit of my story. And perhaps reading the above might give you an insight as to why I just tend to keep myself contained most of the time. (Those who know me well will say that I couldn’t possibly ever be ‘contained’!) When I am prompted to share… I really do share! It’s the South-American in me 😉
Other than my journey described above, I am the oldest of 7 children in my family and I am a creative mind. I enjoy reading and writing. I enjoy singing. I have God in my life and He helps me to see the bigger , wider and the deeper. I am a deeply loving person and if you’ve chosen to be in my life, I hope that you know how much you are loved and appreciated by me. There’s not much you have to do – you just have to be kind towards me, and know that I am not as horrible as I might seem sometimes 🙂 But above all, you just have to be YOU. Even if you don’t like me, I will eventually love you for even that, your truth!
I am passionate about people, and our right to be unique individuals who are loved and learning to love. I am passionate about everyone’s life being their own journey and I love hearing about it, and getting to know what makes you tick (if you so wish to share).
At the point that I feel I have shared too much, I will love you and leave you.